Sunday, January 17, 2010

Welcome To Welcome To To My World Homie

1-18-2010: Interview: Olivia Hammer one on one with Evan McLaughlin

Olivia: So Evan, what can you tell us about the hiatus from your blog?

Evan: Oh that old rag? Well you know how these things go don't you pretty lady? One day you get told to put this here, so you put it there. The next day they want you over someplace else. Before you know it you forgot where where was to begin with. Oh don't be shy go on.

O: There has been a lot of talk recently that you moved your studio space out of the metropolis.

E: Oh that old rag? Well let me tell you. When I first got offered that gold minted closet space. I thought, "By God this house can only hold the smallest paintings man has ever known". I thought that was what they wanted anyway. I imagined the Dean in a white t-shirt and blue jeans laboring endlessly on the hand crafted walls. I imagined him measuring just the perfect size for all the painters. So that they could work and feel like a wolverine. I dreamed him cleaning his sweaty forehead with a red cloth pulled from his back pocket, and he says something like "This is it, this really is it isn't it?". Anyway, I had to ramble on down the road. So I moved my studio space back home.

O: Your move has the world wondering if there is a new lady in your life. Someone keeping you away from the chatter. I don't mean to pry, but there have been reports you are seeing Salma Hayek.

E: Oh come on now, lets not dash on that old rag dear. No comment.

O: Right, moving on. Some people say you walk 5 to 10 miles a day? There have been reports that you walk so rapidly you plow over anyone that gets in your way. And when they say anyone, they mean men, women, children, dogs, squirrels, grandpa...the works. By golly is it true?

E: You bet your ass its true, and don't you forget it.

O: Dully noted Mr. McLaughlin. Dully noted. Moving on, what are you working on these days.

E: Well I am looking at this, and I am painting about that. I am reading those, and snorting crack. Don't feel too lonely, just need to snap. Open the fridge girl, milk.

O: Truly, you are a genius.

E: Oh?

O: What are you doing to do with your BFA when you finally get the diploma? When you reach the mountain top?

E: Oh that old rag? Don't rag on that old rag, I am going to be the mother goose the world never knew it had. The goose who told the greatest stories the world would ever know. Yep, I reckon I just might change the world.

O: Oh Evan, thank you so much for your time. Hail to the victors.

E: HAIL!...

TO THE VICTORS